Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Most Important Job I'll Ever Have-Part One

"Joy comes when you're doing

something with your life and feeling

that you're responsive to God's call." 

Dr. Bryan Cloyd


Our mission as Christians is to be a witness for Christ.  There's no one that we have a greater impact on as a witness than our children.  Which is exactly why the most important job I will ever have is being a Mom.

I have put off writing this particular blog because I have so many friends (good friends and GREAT moms) that aren't SAHM.  So let me begin by saying that quitting my job and staying at home with "Miss Priss" alone does not make me a better Mom.  However, others have also asked the question of why I felt I had to choose between a career and staying at home.  Don't I know it's possible to "have it all" in today's world?  Yes, I do.  I've been there.  I worked for four months with my daughter at home and let me just say not one of those days did I feel like I "had it all."  Quite the opposite in fact, I felt like everyone was getting the short end of the deal-my husband, my daughter, my students, and myself. 

I ultimately chose to be a SAHM because I felt it was what God was calling me to do.  I felt it was the best way to serve Him and my family.  I truly believe that motherhood is a ministry (hopefully one of these days I'll get to read Sally Clarkson's Ministry of Motherhood). 

I believe God has given us His children to watch over, instruct, and guide and with that blessing comes a great responsibility.  I also feel that their most influential years are the early years and me being with them as much as possible giving them the best care I can give is what He wants me to do.

So you'd think with such strong convictions about being a SAHM it would've been an easy decision for me (and maybe it should've been had my faith of been greater) but it wasn't.  Here's why...

I'd always knew I wanted to be a SAHM.  Then I found out I was pregnant.  My husband was in between jobs and so I was our primary source of income.  Not to mention we'd just started building a new house!  At first I was so angry with myself.  I was thrilled to be pregnant but disappointed because staying at home with the baby was not even an option at this point.  I was a planner and I'd known what I wanted. How had I let it get to this?

So "Miss Priss" was born and I was able to stay at home with her for about 10 weeks.  Then I went back to teaching while my husband stayed at home with her.  Not at all how I'd always pictured my life!  However, even when we may not see it, as long as we trust in Him, God ALWAYS has a plan. 

So I went back to work teaching 1st grade with the attitude that I would do what I could at school, leave it at school, and then come home and be a Mom.  Well, great in theory but not reality.  If you've ever been a teacher you know it's impossible to get it all done DURING school hours.  However, I also knew if "Miss Priss" was in school I'd want her teacher to give her all and expected nothing less out of myself as a teacher.  So I came home as soon as I could after school, then spent time with "Miss Priss" then once she was in bed it was back to school work.  As much as I tried I still felt, as I mentioned earlier, everyone was getting the short end of the deal and I was exhausted!

Even though my husband was doing a GREAT job taking care of her there were still things I was missing and knew I'd never get that time back.  There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't pray he'd get a job and we could swap roles!  I finished out the year teaching.  Then my husband got a job during the summer.  Unfortunately, it wasn't the job we'd hoped he get.  In fact, he would be making about 1/2 of what we'd planned.  Even though it wasn't what WE'D planned, he took the job anyway and then came the grueling decision of what to do next...

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